The concept of self-esteem was strange to me as a kid. I started being aware of this maybe in primary school. For me, I could have been described as a shy, timid child. Interestingly, no one taught me to be this but inwardly I could describe myself as fearful in dangerous situations and I couldn’t even stand up for myself. I was well aware of this as little as when I was six or seven years old.

Stephanie Chidi- Osugo

I said the above because I believe as parents we should not ignore your child or feel like self-esteem in a child is a foreign concept, especially not in this age.

What is self-esteem and how important is it to you as a parent?

According to “Wellmind”, in psychology, the term self-esteem is used to describe a person’s overall subjective sense of personal worth or value. In other words, self-esteem may be defined as how much you appreciate and like yourself regardless of the circumstances. Your self-esteem is defined by many factors including:

• Self-confidence
• Feeling of security
• Identity
• Sense of belonging
• Feeling of competence

Other terms that are often used interchangeably with self-esteem include self-worth, self-regard, and self-respect.

We may now wonder, what or why the self-esteem of our child is important.  The truth is no-one wants to be the parent of the shy, timid, unsociable child. However, due consideration has to be given to the temperament of your child. This is a thin balance to keep but definitely possible.   Some children are not extroverts and pushing them to be may cause more harm than good.

Before going further, the parent here also has to be introspective and ask relevant questions that relate to himself or herself as an individual.

·         Am I a confident person? Being confident has to do with how you see yourself. It matters to know whether you are moved or dance to the tunes or the opinion of others. It is important to gauge whether your confidence is in who your, accepting yourself, looks, strength, weaknesses and all. Mothers especially have a lot of role to play in this matter. We may argue

that a child has two parents but I want to believe generally that mothers tend to spend more time with their children except in rare cases and as such, a mother has to know who she is and love herself no matter what.

Like the saying goes, you cannot give what you do not have, this proves to be true in the area of self- esteem. If the real balance is not achieved, you may come off as having an over-inflated ego or being a doormat for others. This may not portend well for the child because the goal is to leave a legacy of kindness, self-confidence, courage and self-love