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A Mother’s Role in Shaping Values
Recently, during a quiet moment of family time with my children, my 10-year-old opened up about issues I had been completely unaware of. It was a relaxed, safe space—no pressure, no fear of consequences, and thankfully, no “African mum expressions” that might have shut the conversation down. In that moment, he felt free to talk.
He shared concerns about the internet, online gaming, and his experiences on platforms like Roblox. I listened, stunned. Around the same time, I had been seeing online reports and reels about lawsuits involving the same platform and the risks it poses to children. Unbeknownst to me, my football-loving son had downloaded the app and was slowly becoming addicted.
That moment reminded me of something powerful: this is the quiet influence of a mother—creating a safe place where a child can speak, be heard, and be guided.
Parenting in a Fast-Changing World
The world is spinning fast and isn’t waiting for anyone to catch their breath. In the 1980s, the big conversation was about the computer age. Today, we are navigating artificial intelligence, robotics, and a hyper-connected global village. While technology has brought enormous benefits, there is no manual for raising children in a world their parents barely recognise.
Many children today cannot imagine life with a shared landline phone or understand why cash was once king. Some struggle to see the importance of chores in a world of dishwashers, washing machines, hoovers—and even Alexa. Parenting in this era requires understanding not just technology, but how it shapes a child’s psychology, emotions, and worldview.
Parenting cannot be outsourced—to society, social media, or screens. It is demanding, selfless work that requires grit, patience, and intentionality. It takes time, energy, resources, and often goes uncelebrated. Yet, when supported by faith and a strong community—as we often say, “it takes a village”—the rewards are lasting.
“There is an ongoing war for the heart of your child—and it is often fought quietly, in the spaces we fail to notice.”
Values: The Bedrock of the Family
One way to simplify the daunting task of parenting is to establish a clear set of values early on. Values are the foundation of every strong family. They must be taught, modelled, and reinforced consistently so they become part of a child’s identity—guiding them even when they are grown and far from home.
When we celebrate stories of bravery, honesty, discipline, and integrity, we are witnessing the invisible work of parents who planted those values early. These values include spirituality, respect, courage, faith, confidence, discipline, and integrity.
While both parents play vital roles, mothers often serve as the first teachers. With our emotional connection and watchful eyes, we tend to notice subtle emotional shifts, physical needs, and unspoken struggles. Repetition and reinforcement of values shape a child’s future more than we sometimes realise.
The reality is sobering: there is an ongoing war for the hearts of our children. A recent video I watched told the heartbreaking story of a child who, at just six years old, was influenced by online content to consider suicide. Rising rates of childhood depression and mental health challenges are clear warning signs. Ignorance is neither bliss nor an excuse.
Practical Ways Mothers Can Lean
Keep Learning
To raise godly children, parents—especially mothers—must keep learning. Children quickly detect outdated information. When that happens, they either laugh it off or tune out completely. Stay curious. Learn about their interests, technology, and world. Ask questions, explore together, and resist the urge to criticize too quickly. Growth keeps connection alive.
Make Time
Many children struggle not because they lack possessions, but because they lack attention. When children sense that parents are always too busy, they easily retreat into virtual worlds. Ten minutes of undivided attention can be more valuable than expensive gifts. Shared laughter, play, and simple moments create memories that last.
Teach Values Intentionally
Quality time naturally opens doors to meaningful conversations. In these moments, values can be taught gently and effectively. Values are imprints of your legacy—guiding your children when you are not present. Teach spirituality, honesty, respect, and courage through real-life examples, including your own struggles and victories. These stories become light for them in dark moments.
Rest and Recharge
Motherhood is relentless. Between school runs, meal preparation, extracurricular activities, and household management, the mental load can be overwhelming. Add external judgement and self-evaluation, and exhaustion becomes inevitable. A tired mind misses warning signs. Rest is not selfish—it is necessary. Whether it’s a solo walk, a spa visit, quiet reading time, or a simple pause, a rested mother parents better.
“Raising godly children in a modern world happens one conversation, one value, and one prayer at a time.”
In Closing
Above all, I believe in prayer. Children are gifts from God, each with a divine purpose. As we do our part—teaching, guiding, and nurturing—we must also commit them into God’s hands. Prayer aligns our children with His purpose, especially when our own strength runs out.
Raising godly children in a modern world is challenging, but it is possible—one conversation, one value, and one prayer at a time
