In my previous post, I promised to do a series on the emotional well-being of our kids. The first thing I want to address is the fact that what I am sharing is based on the Book by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell, “The five love languages of Children’. This is an offshoot of the book by the same author for grownups, “The Five Love Languages”
Stephanie B. Osugo
A lot of reviews have been done on this book but this is my personal review of the book with some additional information from personal experiences and those of a group of parents that share a platform.
Another thing I want to address is that there are no perfect parents or perfect children. Everyone’s experiences, upbringing, and temperaments, in general, put us in a place where all we can try to do is do our best. Never give up trying and enjoying the ride. Most importantly we parents must trust God to help us make the best out of the blessings he has blessed us with.
Love languages of children basically just mean the way children perceive love or receive love. It is the best interpretation for a child of what he feels from his parents.
There are basically five ways this is been interpreted.
But first, the most important need of a child is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
“Unconditional love is a guiding light, illuminating the darkness and enabling us parents to know where we are and what we need to do as we raise our child.
Most of us parents know what this means. When you first meet your child, there is nothing that the child has done to make you love the child. You are just happy you have a child. The men walk with their shoulders a few inches higher. The mother is basking in the euphoria of oxytocin no matter what she has passed through to have that child. You are happy to feed the child, bathe the child, and clean up some atomic missiles and smiling when they pee on you. There is no greater expression than unconditional love. We do not have the same kind of love for our spouses; although we are supposed to. We love our spouses because we have seen something or experienced something with them. But for children, we love them for just been our children.
But, ‘Unconditional love will make the difference between children who are well adjusted and happy and those who are insecure, angry inaccessible and immature.’
Irrespective of the love language of your child, expression of the SAME MUST BE UNCONDITIONAL.
Let us think about these important aspects of parenting before delving into the 5 types of love languages for children. I am sure you already know them but are you expressing them unconditionally to your child??
Are you waiting for perfection before covering that child with love?
Is your child a confident or insecure child?
Were you raised with love or are you taking out your frustrations on an innocent child?
Are you doing things differently than you experienced or are you continuing a bad trend?
The truth is your own emotional well-being is tied to this.
Do think about this and take care of yourself.
You cannot give what you don’t have.
See you next time.
And thank you for taking the time to read this.
