Before the advent of both Christianity and Islam, Nupe Marriage Customs were unique and rich.But like many Nigerian cultures which modernity has dealt a heavy blow on, this traditional heritage is gradually fading out.Contemporary Nupe families appear to be more inclined to the waves of civilization than the ancient heritage that distinguished the entire Nupe kingdom.
In the past, Marriage Ceremony in Nupe land with colorful events could last for weeks.
In some cases, marriages are arranged by Parents. Close friends could also arrange for their children to marry in other to further strengthen their ties.In the case were couples were not Marched, the meeting point is mainly in the evenings at an unorganized social gathering especially during moonlight period usually at the village square(egban). Youths usually meet in the evenings with friends to crack jokes and play, it is usually during these activities that would -be couples meet themselves. In the process of these meetings, various social groups are formed at the ‘egban’ which is the village square, the youths sing, dance, make friends and mingle with the opposite sex.If a relationship is established with the opposite sex, the boy will introduce the girl to his mates and each member of his group will accord the girl a kind of respect wherever they meet.During the courtship process, the girl will open up to her parents through a relation who will now inform her parents .The parents will investigate the boy’s character, family back ground and vice versa.
If the investigation turns out positive, they will call the girl and confirm from her , and then encourage the marriage, a situation where the investigations turns out negative ,the parents will not approve of the marriage.Another type of marriage is through social interaction between different families, through recommendation, it could be direct Introduction to someone perceived to have good character, this is done by family relations and close friends. The match maker often serve as go between, known as Lina in Nupe Language. Another type is marriage by ‘Sadaka’, if a man does not have what it takes to do a marriage ceremony, he can be given a wife as ‘Sadaka’, his parents however sees to the upkeep of the child.
After two families have agreed for marriage to take place, the next step is introduction, this is a ceremony whereby the both families get to know each other officially, after that, courtship continues between the boy and the girl. After the introduction, the next step is ‘Emisa’ this involves the groom’s family taking out time to appreciate the girl’s parent, thanking them for releasing their daughter. The ceremony that follows ‘emisa’ is the engagement which is usually a dramatic celebration.The groom’s family come along with dowry, food stuffs, mat guniea corn, palm oil, ground nut oil, goat, bags of rice and 200 pieces of kolanut and cloths for the girl. They also bring a stipulated amount of money for the young girls in the family, the young men and money for the mothers in the family, the mothers consists of the bride’s aunties.During the ceremony, the groom’s family will make an open pronouncement of their desire to marry the girl publicly and the girl’s parent will publicly agree to give their daughter out in marriage.
One very significant part of the celebration is sharing of the kola nuts to all the relations, friends and well-wishers as symbol of the coming marriage ceremony. The kola nut signifies invitation to the wedding ceremony. The engagement usually comes up about 3 months to the wedding proper.The marriage ceremony is usually colorful and takes about 7 days with various activities such as the bride’s dance where she and her friends play and dance, there is a day set aside for singing and dancing by family and friends generally including the leg dance which is performed at the groom’s house. Singing dancing, feasting and merry making will be going on in the bride’s house and grooms house simultaneously.
On the 5th day, the wedding proper is done. The bride and groom are joined together as husband and wife.A house or room is usually built for the new bride; it is usually well decorated with various artistic designs on the walls. The house is usually built according to the standard of the groom’s family after the house is built, a member of the bride’s family is usually sent to inspect the building.On the 7th day the groom and his friends will go round to great relatives of the bride, the friends of the bride will remain with the bride for about a whole week, during this week the bride will not do any work, she usually goes about under the veil, the brides friends will go after one week and she will be left with her two closest friends they will stay with the bride for an additional one week without doing any domestic work on the seventh day of this week, the bride and her friends will go to the stream to fetch water with a calabash. Upon the brides arrival the groom’s mother will receive the bride and then take her into the house built for her.
The family will gather at the veranda singing. The bride breaks the calabash on the floor and her friends do the same, wetting the floor. After this, the bride and her friends will change their attires and the bride comes out unveiled.The brides friends then departs leaving the bride with two young maids who will assist the bride, although the bride is now unveiled, she is still not permitted to do any domestic work for another two weeks. At the end of the month the atmosphere of the ceremony will seize and the bride will start domestic chores and live the life of a normal house wife.
Today, the trends in Nupe marriages seems to have disappeared almost completely. With Islam and Christianity gaining more ascendancy over the traditional cultures. Apparently, the society has general become more Islamized and Christianized, with more people becoming more favorably disposed to the marriages either done with predominantly Islamic practices or Christian methods, involving the Imams and Pastors.
Marriage ceremony no longer take weeks as it used to be in the past due to economic reasons as either of the couples are working full time and need to resume work. The current life style of the 21st century can no longer accommodate the eventful ceremony of the past ,this has made traditional marriages less colorful.